Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Is Modesty Obsolete?

Way back when my kids were much younger and before I became a serious paper crafter, I used to maintain a blog that updated our friends and family about life in Croatia. In it, I posted things I was learning, pictures of our fast-growing kids, and links worth sharing. It was more like a journal that I hoped would encourage others who were in the same similar life journey as I was. That blog is gone now, but I do miss writing and sharing topics that are more important to me than paper crafting. I hope to get started again since God teaches me so much every day. I want to shout out His goodness to me and encourage others that life with Christ is beautiful! At the very least, I'm writing this for my girls who someday may want to know what their momma was like when she was younger. So here goes...
Modesty is a hot topic. And as a mom to 3 girls, I am constantly aware how fast the world (even among the Christian circles) has changed on the general view of it.

It seems that the standard for modesty has changed in the last decade or so. Or maybe it's because things are more public now with FB. Or maybe because I've been stuck in the 90's fashion having lived here in a very small town overseas for a while now :). I have noticed that many of my like-minded, conservative friends wear clothes that I would probably consider immodest like strapless dresses, halter tops, very short skirts (at least half their thighs are showing), plunging necklines (low enough to show cleavage), tight pants, 2-piece bikini suits.

I am not surprised that women in general wear these, but I'm talking about Christian women who I think a decade ago would have also considered their outfits immodest. What changed? And here I notice young girls wearing boots/shoes that were the types that Pretty Woman would have worn. The "woman of the night" look seems like normal attire now. When we go to the US, I feel so out of place because women wear the clothes mentioned above to church (our standard should be the same wherever we go, but we do tend to dress conservatively there) and they're not a minority either!

I don't want to sound legalistic, nor reduce the rules of modesty to "do's" and "don't's". As one writer says, "Modesty is an issue of the heart, not the hemline." I want to teach my girls how to properly view modesty, even when mommy is not there to remind them. I just wonder does modesty go along with the times? After all, we don't hide our ankles and cover our heads like our Victorian-era sisters did. If modesty is relative, is that okay? And how far do we go? What do we, as mothers, teach our girls with what we wear?
Some helpful links on this topic:


  1. I think it is interesting that you shared this. I have been feeling the same way. On Easter, there were women and girls at our Church wearing dresses that were so inappropriate. My daughters have been looking at dresses that were worn in the 1950's. They both love the look of those dresses, but are sad that they will have to sew them themselves because they are not available at stores.

    1. I know. It's hard to buy clothes for my 13yo. I can't sew but thankfully there are still a few places where I can get conservative clothes. I can find more modest clothes in the Women's section than the youth dept and pick the smallest size available for her.

  2. Thanks for these links Nina. I esp. liked the one for Mary Kassian and plan to share it with my DD Anna Lura (age 11). She and I have noticed the teens from our church drifting into dress that surprises us. While I love these girls, I wish they would choose to be better role models for the younger girls. Sigh....