*I received a free copy of this book from the publisher via #netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
I
have been looking forward to reading this book; first, because the
author is one I’ve admired from afar ever since I read her first book,
Confessions of an Unlikely Convert; second, because hospitality is a
ministry dear to my heart. I had high expectations for this book; and
sadly, it slightly disappoints. Perhaps I’m being nit picky and I
apologize if I sound harsh, but I need to give my honest review. It is
perplexing because though I do not love the book, I do not have a
problem recommending it to others. (I gave it a 4* on netgalley bec of
this).
I’m not sure if this is promoted as such, but it is part
memoir, part theology lesson, part christian living kind of book.
Interwoven are the theological basis, biblical illustrations and
personal story about hospitality. Mrs. Butterfield is a good writer and
could very well be the most qualified to talk about hospitality, but I
still find issues in the book that I cannot give it a 5-Star rating.
These
issues are not theological in nature, so I can still in good conscience
recommend the book. For sure, it is highly engaging, saturated with
Scripture, and convicting to the core. I’ve had to stop several times to
repent for past sins in the area of hospitality and pray for God’s
grace to help me a better hostess.
I cried reading about her
tumultuous relationship with her mother. I especially love that she
encourages us to not idolize safety and security, something American
Christians are obsessed with. We need to live our ordinary lives
radically and one way we do that is through hospitality. Here are some
favorite quotes:
I know I can’t save anyone. Jesus alone saves, and all I do is show up. Show up we must.
Radically
ordinary hospitality is this: using your Christian home in a daily way
that seeks to make strangers neighbors, and neighbors family of God. It
brings glory to God, serves others, and lives out the gospel in word and
deed.
Christians must learn to practice radically ordinary
hospitality not only as the hosts of this world but, perhaps more
importantly, as its despised guests. Let’s face it: we have become
unwelcome guests in this post-Christian world.
God calls us to make sacrifices that hurt so that others can be served and maybe even saved. We are called to die. Nothing less.
The
job of an ally makes the cross lighter, not by erecting or supporting
laws that oppose God’s law, but by being good company in the bearing of
its weight.
Now for the disappointing parts...here are just a few:
Perhaps
this is unavoidable when writing a memoir, and I have a sensitivity to
humble-bragging because of my own pride problems, but I find her
constant use of her own personal triumphs in hospitality as a little
irksome. I don’t want to judge her motives, but it gets old when I read
one hospitable act by the author after another. She did use other
people’s examples, but it’s mostly about her and her family’s sacrifice
and good works. This is especially interesting because she talks highly
of her husband who would not “tarnish by bragging about it (one’s coming
to faith through their hospitality) on a blog post or on Facebook. Kent
is a Christian man. Christian men do not steal glory from God. This is
the kind of news that moves mountains, something to be addressed in the
sacred moment of table fellowship.”
Her schedule seems
unmaintainable. Doing intentional ministry every day could exhaust even
the most devoted Christian. As a minister’s wife, I understand that
being in full-time ministry is a 24/7 kind of job, and opportunities to
serve could come at any moment. But her way is to have something planned
every day. Maybe these are assumed, but I ask her, When does she devote
time alone with her husband? When does she foster one on one time with
her kids? It is hard to imagine she has time for them just by reading
about her schedule.
One of the characters she mentions in the
book is Hank who starts as a grumpy neighbor and becomes a friend. Later
on, it is found out he was leading a secret criminal life. I understand
and admire the author’s compassion for her friend, but her intent focus
on this made her question the fairness of his incarceration, made her
forget his serious crimes that hurt a lot of people. His sins are
somewhat downplayed. Yes, as a Christian, he has been forgiven, but he
still has to face the consequences of his sins.
She quotes and
uses as a good example a Catholic priest who “regarded hospitality as a
spiritual movement, one that is possible only when loneliness finds its
spiritual refreshment in solitude, when hostility resolves itself in
hospitality, and when illusion is manifested in prayer.” This sounds
mystical and, as an ex-Catholic, I seriously have an issue promoting any
of them.
I found two typos: principal when she meant principle, tails instead of tales.